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Be kinder to yourself

How to be kinder to yourself

Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion, and learn to forgive yourself for mistakes.


The need for self-compassion

Sometimes we are our own worse critics. We criticise ourselves relentlessly. Our internal narrator tells us that no one really likes us, that we are going to fail, or that we are worthless. Often if someone else spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we'd never talk to them again.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to start changing that inner voice. You can do this by actively changing your habits and treating yourself in a kind and compassionate way.


What would you say to a child?

Imagine a small child who is experiencing the same thing or the same feelings you are going through. What would you say to them? How would you say it to them? You should offer the same care, warmth and compassion to yourself. You deserve love, care and attention.

The next time you are mentally hitting yourself, try to step back and imagine that small scared child instead. This might feel silly at first, but give it a try.

Use caring words and gestures.

Stroke your own hair gently, or rub your own arm.

Soothe yourself

Think or say out loud, "I know things are hard, I know what you're going through. I know. I'm here for you."

Take an action

If you are hungry, eat something. If you are tired, take a nap.

Motivate yourself

Tell yourself, "Come on. I know you. You've done this before, and you can do it again."


Change negative thoughts into positive thoughts

This TED talk is called "Getting stuck in the negatives (and how to get unstuck)", by Alison Ledgerwood

See more ways to turn a negative into a positive