Divorcing Victorians

The Sanctity of Marriage

You cannot fully evaluate the meanings of heartbreak and divorce without first understanding the tradition and expectation of marriage in Victorian England. The contract of marriage was a sacred agreement, expected only to be broken by death. In the words of historian Lawrence Stone, this was not a ‘separating society’, and the concept of divorce defied the social order. This may therefore present marriages as a mechanism to confine heartbreak, as there was no method of escape. Regardless of these restrictions, the ceremony of the wedding provides a unique insight into the culture of Victorian England.

Many of the material items used in Victorian weddings appear similar to modern weddings. For example, the white bridal dress was popularised by Queen Victoria herself, demonstrating a lasting legacy of Victorian marital culture through fashion. The bridesmaid's fan further reinforces this, suggesting the importance of the role of the family in the ceremony. Finally, the official wedding photograph depicts the enormity of the event, as photography was still in its early development.

Reasons for Divorce

One of the early catalysts introducing marital separation to the population of England was King Henry VIII. Although three of his marriages were annulled, rather than ending through divorce, this marked a overarching move towards a society more open to separation. However there remained a disconnect between King and subjects.

On a more individual basis, there were many private reasons for divorce, which eventually amounted to a demand for change in the legislation. One of the most significant factors was adultery. In particular, the disloyalty of a woman to her husband was viewed as highly unacceptable - as it brought into question the paternity of their children - and humiliating to his masculinity, often resulting in demand for divorce. There were also other notable factors such as ‘cruelty’ or failure to conceive. Altogether, these portray a profound and complex desire for divorce, in the context of the wider movement.

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence or 'cruelty' was a decisive factor contributing to much discontent within marriages. In some cases a legal separation ('from bed and board') was sought by women because of extreme cruelty, although this did not allow for remarriage.

Furthermore, the poor treatment of some women by their husbands was not seen as a crime, but rather an expected or justified aspect of a marriage in which the woman obeys her husband.

To some extent, there is a deficit of evidence attesting to the everyday abuse wives suffered in their marriages, as there were limited alternative avenues women could turn to. However, evidence and examples of this oppression do survive, for example in court records, letters, diaries, and common attitudes towards marriage. These can be seen in texts such as W. M. Alcott's publication The Young Wife, which establishes expectations for women's behaviour in marriage.

The empty journal in this section of our Cabinet is used to connote the lack of historiography around the emotional experience of divorce for ordinary couples. The embarrassment and shame that surrounded divorce in the Victorian period has meant that there is a lack of first-hand accounts showing the emotional impact of this process on former couples. Until recently, and still currently in some communities, divorce was seen as a taboo topic that was not acceptable for couples to go through. Equally, reasons for divorce such as failure to conceive are highly emotional and private subjects, meaning they have often been kept closeted. The lack of information highlights the embarrassment and shame that surrounded divorce during the Victorian period, particularly for women. Therefore, the stigma surrounding divorce meant that many felt the need to keep their separation and feelings private.

A Family Affair

Intertwined with this story of divorce is the agency of the children whose families have separated. Although divorces often occurred in childless marriages, in some instances children were involved, and therefore the emotion and change inflicted upon them must be considered.

For example, the children of John Manners and Anne Pierrepont underwent significant upheaval, as their parents gained the first divorce in England, in 1670, with permission to remarry. As the divorce was sought on the grounds of his wife’s adultery, Manners was able to declare their children as bastards, with the Illegitimation of Lady Anne Roos’ Children Act in 1666.

More generally, the children raised by single mothers, either from an affair or divorce were likely to be sent away to school, disowned, abandoned, or even in the most extreme cases murdered through infanticide. In this sense, divorce must be considered as an ordeal impacting the entirety of the family, with a much deeper impact than the heartbreak within the relationship itself.

Liberation

Divorce during the Victorian period was not accessible to the vast majority of women due to the financial cost, social stigma and lack of legislation. Men were given more social and political rights as well as having the financial power to divorce their wives, meaning they had unequal access to divorce and could continue to hold power in the relationship even while it was ending. This began to change with extensive campaigning of Caroline Norton who advocated for greater divorce and custody rights for women through her literature.

Caroline Norton's interest in divorce came from her separation from her husband, Geroge Norton, where she wanted liberation from his abusive and possessive behaviour. After leaving her husband in 1836 and stating her want for a divorce, Caroline was left heartbroken when George abducted their three sons and withheld their location from her. Carloline's feelings of injustice encouraged her into political advocacy, where she wrote a letter to Queen Victoria and publicised her emotions and thoughts surrounding her marriage and divorce. Through her intense campaigning Caroline was able to influence the passage of legislation such as the Custody of Infants Act of 1839 and the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857. Caroline became a liberated woman through her writings and became vital in improving the rights of women to custody and divorce, all while coping with the heartbreak of an exploitative marriage and the loss of her children.

Continued Oppression?

The timeline of divorce laws finally begins to gain parliamentary legislation in the Victorian era, as marriage and the rights of women also became questioned and transformed, driven by the influence of philanthropists. The lack of legislation previously was partially due to the belief that divorce was an immoral act, and the filing of a separation reflected the personal failings of the couple.

The timeline of divorce legislation in our Cabinet, symbolised by a washing line, highlights the changing nature of divorce, and how it was a social, cultural, and legal process which is subject to continual transformation. Equally, divorce in Britian is still developing, seen in modern legislation like the Divorce, Dissolution, and Separation Act of 2020, that introduced no-fault divorce. This recent change is vital in making divorce a more collaborative, civil case rather than being more overtly emotional and centred on blame.

Equally, the introduction of many of these laws helped to improve the rights of women and their role in the home and marriage by giving them proper legal protection. There were minimal laws during the Victorian period which protected women from their husbands, and it wasn’t until 2003 that marital rape was illegal, through The Sexual Offences Act. Legislation supporting divorce and protecting women in marriages have been important in liberating them from oppressive situations, which the historian Anya Taylor even described as comparable to slaves. The freedom women gained allowed them to leave relationships that made them feel lonely, melancholy and unloved.

.

Bibliography

Anya Taylor, Erotic Coleridge: Women, Love and the Law Against Divorce(New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2005), pp. 125-144.

Gwilym Owen and Rebecca Probert, 'Marriage, dispensation and divorce during the years of Henry VIII’s "great matter": a local case study', Law and Humanities, 13 (2019), pp. 76-94.

Henry Kha, A History of Divorce Law: Reform in England from the Victorian to Interwar Years (Oxford: Taylor and Francis Group, 2020), pp. 13-28.

Johanna Luthman, Family and Feuding at the Court of James I: The Lake and Cecil Scandals (Oxford: Oxford Academic, 2023), pp. 127-134.

Kelly Hager, Dickens and the Rise of Divorce: The Failed-Marriage Plot and the Novel Tradition (London: Routledge, 2016), pp. 1-10.

Lawrence Stone, Road to Divorce: England 1530-1987 (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1990), pp. 1-47.

Lawrence Stone, The Family, Sex and Marriage in England 1500-1800 (London: Penguin Group, 1977), pp. 254-285.

Lisa F. Cody, '“Marriage is No Protection for Crime”: Coverture, Sex, and Marital Rape in Eighteenth-Century England', Journal of British Studies, 61 (2022), pp. 809-834.

Ruth B. Yeazell, 'Marriage', Victorian Review, 39.2 (2013), pp. 208-215.

William A. Alcott, The Young Wife, or, Duties of woman in the marriage relation (Boston: Waite Peirce, 1846).