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Personal statement example: Charlie Mattock

Charlie MattockCharlie is a graduate, looking to apply for an Admissions Officer role, and has been asked to submit a Personal Statement as part of his application. He has not been given a word limit, and the statement will be sent as an individual document when he applies.

1. Read the job advert and then Charlie's draft letter below and make a list of things you would advise him to change.

2. Turn comments to reveal the areas picked up and advice given by an expert adviser, and compare your advice with theirs.

3. To see these changes incorporated into a final version of Charlie's letter. The finished version represents a good example letter. Show the version.

Having worked in admissions for quite a while now, I feel comfortable that I fill the requirements for this post.

In India I assisted students with their UCAS applications. The educational structure of the country is very different to that of the UK, so writing a personal statement is very difficult for students there. I would work with people applying for undergraduate courses and also postgraduate courses, so I am familiar with the differences between the two. Students would also be of different cultural backgrounds and require different things, so I had to be aware of that when speaking with them.

I know a great deal about overseas qualifications and the standard of English from applicants given that my last place of work dealt in such things. This is important within admissions as international students tend to make up a significant proportion of the student body, and so someone needs to be able to interpret their grades. Without this background, it would be difficult to work out whether a foreign student was really capable of rising to the challenge of studying abroad.

In addition to this, I used to work in a recruitment company. Although this wouldn’t be working with students in education, I do still believe that it is relevant experience nonetheless. Some applicants would also be looking into postgraduate courses, and so I would also assist them with these. As a measure of my success I was by far the best salesperson within my team, and this came as a direct result of my people-skills.

Overall, my experiences have provided me with broad reaching experiences that can now be applied to a variety of different situations within admissions. I would be interested to develop this further within your Centre because I clearly, as you can note from my CV, work well with people and enjoy helping them reach their goals.