Gemma Wild

University Executive Support Team

“I’ve named my stoma Sid!”

“If you'd told me a few years ago that I'd be talking openly about having a stoma, I'd probably have laughed. For a long time, I didn't want to talk about it at all.

My health problems started after I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. I was trying different medications and eventually started a new drug that everyone hoped would help. Instead, I became increasingly unwell, struggling to keep food down, losing weight and feeling worse by the day. Around that time, I was due to go on a cruise with my parents. Cruising has always been my happy place, so my GP encouraged me to go.

Four days into the trip, I was taken off the ship in Malta as an emergency patient. What followed feels like a blur now. After ten days in hospital, doctors managed to get me well enough to fly home. Within days of arriving back in the UK, I was admitted to hospital again and needed emergency surgery.

At the time, I didn't fully realise how serious it was. I was just concentrating on getting through each day. The surgery saved my life. My consultant later told me that had things continued much longer, the outcome could have been very different. That's why, despite everything that happened, I'm grateful. I'm still here.

When I woke up after surgery and discovered I had a stoma, I was in complete shock. I was told it was unlikely to be reversible, and I remember wondering how I was ever going to adapt to this new reality. For weeks, even changing the bag felt overwhelming. I worried about how people would see me and whether I'd ever feel like myself again. Then, about 48 hours after the operation, I decided to give my stoma a name. I called him Sid.

I have no idea where the name came from, but somehow it helped. Instead of seeing it as something frightening that had suddenly changed my life, Sid became something I could talk about and even joke about. Honestly, humour got me through a lot.

Sid became very much part of my life. He was noisy, unpredictable and had absolutely no respect for timing. There were plenty of meetings where Sid would suddenly join the conversation with a loud gurgle. By then, I had learned to laugh about it and would simply say, “That's Sid agreeing with me.” Learning to laugh about having a stoma helped me stop being embarrassed by it.

Of course, living with a stoma wasn't always easy. One of the hardest things for me was accepting that some things were outside my control. I like being organised and having a plan. A stoma doesn't care about your plans. I could be ready to leave the house and suddenly find myself delayed because Sid had other ideas. Eventually, I learned to accept it as part of life.

Having Sid changed my perspective on a lot of things. When you've come so close to losing your life, your priorities shift. You appreciate ordinary days, family and being able to do the things you love. For me, that's travelling. I went back to cruising as soon as I could and haven't stopped. In fact, my next cruise will be my 51st. I've visited places I never imagined I'd see and, more recently, trained as a citizen scientist, helping to record whale and dolphin sightings while at sea.

After eight years of living with Sid, I've reached another milestone and had my stoma reversed. It's strange to think that something I was once told was unlikely to be reversible eventually became a temporary part of my life. I'm incredibly grateful for that opportunity, but I also know that Sid will always be part of my story.

Having a stoma never defined me. I'm still the same person who loves travelling, spending time with family and making plans for the future. If anything, this experience has made me more resilient, more empathetic and more determined to make the most of every day. I would never have chosen this path, but Sid gave me a second chance at life. That's something I'll never take for granted.”