Quiche is a funny food. Forty years ago quiche was pilloried as an effete dish shunned by real men. Now the king himself is promoting a vegetarian version complete with soybeans. But let’s be honest: most quiche is pretty dreadful. Supermarket quiche in a paper box is a staple of uninspiring buffets and last-minute suppers, but it hardly conjures a spirit of festivity, let alone regal pomp and circumstance.

Where are the mini blueberry Bakewell tarts and the rose falooda cakes we were encouraged to make for the Platinum Jubilee? What does coronation quiche suggest about the new monarch’s vision for Britain?