Relationships
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Relationships
Clarity begins with a conversation. So let's talk.
University is a time of new experiences and opportunities to build meaningful relationships. While these connections can be one of the most rewarding aspects of university life, it can also feel challenging, as you adapt to new environments, responsibilities, and expectations. Understanding what contributes to a healthy relationship can help you build positive, supportive, and respectful connections.
Looking after yourself
The relationship you have with yourself can influence how you connect with others. While no one feels positive about themselves all the time, developing self-awareness and self-compassion can help you build healthier relationships and navigate challenges more effectively.
Give yourself permission to say ‘no’. Doing things we don’t want to do can lead to resentment. Pay attention to strong feelings; feeling uncomfortable may mean that a boundary has been crossed. Be supportive of others, but not at the expense of your own wellbeing.
Communication is everything
Good communication is essential for healthy relationships. It helps us express our needs, understand others, build trust, and manage conflict. It is important to practise:
Take time to recognise and manage your own emotions, while also considering how others may be feeling. Showing empathy and trying to understand someone else's perspective can strengthen relationships and reduce misunderstandings.
Is my relationship healthy?
A healthy relationship isn't about power. It's built on trust, respect, communication and support. In relationships, there should be space for individuality and mutual respect. While all relationships experience challenges from time to time, some patterns can leave you feeling unsupported, unheard, or unhappy.
Green Flags
- Feeling safe, respected and supported
- Mutual trust and empathy
- Able to work through disagreements and conflict, taking responsibility for mistakes and apologising when needed
- Making decisions together and valuing each other's input.
- Showing appreciation and gratitude for one another.
- Respecting differences in opinions, beliefs, and preferences.
- Taking time out to do your own thing and have your own space
Red flags
- Feeling like your emotions or experiences are dismissed, unimportant or unjustified.
- Ignoring views or struggling to respect decisions
- Controlling or manipulative behaviours used to influence decisions, actions, or relationships.
- An atmosphere of mistrust, where honesty and reliability are lacking.
- Frequent misunderstandings or unresolved issues.
- Feeling like your boundaries or personal needs are disregarded
Recognising abuse
If your behaviour has changed due to how your partner treats you, it can be a sign of an abusive relationship. Abusive behaviours may look like:
- Controlling behaviour - such as changing how you dress, who you see, how you spend money
- Love Bombing - this could include excessive affection, excessive compliments and gifts
- Doing things without your consent, that make you feel uncomfortable, ashamed or fearful
- Gaslighting - a form of manipulation that can make you doubt your decisions, mistrust your judgment and question reality
- Disrespectful communication such as being put down, humiliated, embarrassed or hurt.
- Being unwilling to compromise when they express their feelings
- Threatening to harm you or themselves if you leave or they don't get their way
- Using physical, sexual or emotional abuse against you in any way
If you recognise any of these signs in your relationships, there is support available for you.