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by John Eppel

His father told him:
“If you can’t piss in your own garden
you aren’t a man.”
He pissed on Matabeleland.

As a senior pupil
at a private boarding school,
he nearly drowned a junior
with the contents of his bladder.

At Dubai World in Cape Town
(facilitating the acquisition of land in Zimbabwe
with his friend, the Minister),
he pissed in the wash basin.

He pissed on the wall,
he pissed on the toilet roll.
He said: “There’s mess in your bathroom.
Get your wog to clean it.”