HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND

We all want to be here for our friends and flatmates when they are struggling. However, this can be challenging and it can sometimes feel like you are solely responsible. It is important that you help them to seek support rather than doing it all yourself.

Use this page to discover who to speak to when you are supporting someone who is struggling. This page also offers tips on how to support your friend whilst looking after your own mental health.

Just know you aren’t on your own, so please keep reading to see how we can help!

What you can do if your friend needs support

• Reach out – if you think they are struggling, reach out and see if they want to talk.
• Remain calm – let them know you are here, you might not know all the answers or how best to support them but you can work it out together.
• Actively listen - Allow them to talk and take the time to listen. If they want to sit in silence or just be with you, let them. Having someone to listen can be a huge help.
• Be aware of body language - Understand the impact that your body language can have on a conversation. Consider your facial expressions, gestures, posture, head movement, and eye contact.
• Utilise different responses for different situations - Some people prefer someone who takes a listening and supportive approach, whilst others prefer more practical support and advice.
• Support them to reach out - Support them in engaging with university and external support services for help.

What you can say

• Make it about them and not you - Keep your focus on your friend, don’t make it about your own experiences, and let them know that they are not alone.
• Stay positive – listen and ask questions and when possible focus on positive elements of the situation.
• You might not be the best person - if they disclose something you think you shouldn’t be hearing or will have a negative impact on yourself, encourage them to speak to someone else they trust.
• Help to find solutions - Ask them questions to enable them to find the solutions themselves, ask them how you can help - i.e. what's the best way I can support you right now? Or would you like my advice?
• Accept that they might not listen - They might not be ready to make these changes or they might not be ready to access support. This is their decision, support them with the process and be confident that by offering this support they may come to act in the future in their own timeframe.

Look after yourself

Know your limits

There is only so much you can do for a friend and it is important to know when to step back. Often when someone is struggling they can become reliant on those around them. This can take an emotional toll on yourself and negatively impact both of you.

Instead, try setting some boundaries, see some examples below:

• Consider limiting the time you spend with them, try saying: ‘I am happy to chat but I only have 30 minutes’
• You don’t always have to see them right away, trying saying: ‘I currently have to study but I am happy to chat at 4pm’
• Recommend other support by saying: ‘I might not be the best person to speak to about this but I can walk you over to Wellbeing and Student Support so they can chat to you’

Support Services Available

If you friend needs support encourage them to engage with the services below. You can also speak to these services if you are struggling too. Keep reading for more info!

Wellbeing and Student Support

Wellbeing and Student Support offer a regular drop-in service available for all students. If deemed appropriate, they can also organise counselling services through their CAPS Team.

Drop-In Services

10am-3pm Monday to Friday

(Drop-in services are accessible in person and online)

For further information and to join the drop-in queue click here

You can also speak to wellbeing about the person you are supporting.

You may worry that your friend would not want you to speak to someone else about them. If they are at any risk, their safety is the most important consideration and it is important to tell someone about your concerns.

Speak to your GP (doctor)

Your GP can offer support and signpost to relevant health services for assessment.

There is a Health Centre available on campus but you need to register first.

Register here

Out of Hours Support

Wellbeing and Student Support and your GP aren’t always open when people need support. Check out services the university offer out of hours. You can refer your friend to either of these services, or get support yourself.

Residential Community Team

The Residential Community Team are a peer-led service that offer pastoral support to residential students. They are always free for a chat and can help you to speak with other services at the university.

Residence Hubs:

Our staff are available in your Residence Hub every evening between

7pm - 9pm.

RCT Hub (Red Square):

Our staff are available in the RCT hub from 9am -11pm Monday to Friday

and 12pm -11pm Saturday and Sunday.

If you would prefer to organise a time to speak with someone or communicate via email complete our Triage Form:

Online Triage Form (office.com)

Non Emergency Out of Hours Number:

Have a chat with someone from our team, please keep in mind our staff aren’t to be utilised as an emergency or counselling service

If you live in Arthur Vick, Benefactors, Bluebell, Claycroft, Jack Martin, Rootes, Tocil or Westwood call:
07884 733 042

If you live in Cryfield, Sherbourne, Heronbank or Lakeside call:
07881 267 519

Only accessible between 11pm-7am

Community Safety Team

Community Safety are a 24 hour first-response service on campus. If you or your friend is feeling extremely low or unsafe please call them using the numbers below.

General Enquiries

024 7652 2083

Emergency

024 7652 2222

Their numbers can also be found on the back of your student card.

External Support Available

Click the link below to discover external support services available for students. Some services are available 24/7 so please check them out!

Click here

Support in Crisis

If you are concerned about the risk to your friend’s personal safety, or that of others, you may need to act without their consent. In a crisis situation, ensuring your own safety and that of others is paramount.

It is important to remain calm and to adopt a non-threatening approach, explaining in a straightforward way what you are doing. You may need to contact Community Safety or emergency services (999).

After a crisis, ensure you get support for yourself by talking the situation through.