Koan we do it? #YesWeKoan

Thank you for coming to make your contribution to a cause so close to my rotating circumference.
Your donation will help bring more students to campus, where I understand they will have a rivetingly good time before abandoning me leaving for new career paths all over the globe. Your donation will also help me to feel pride in every twist and turn as I gaze lovingly at campus around me.
Most importantly, your donation will show your love for me, your Koan, and my home of the University of Warwick.
I thank you again both for your time and courteous response to my letter. I look forward to bringing you joyous tidings of my imminent success.
You can donate on the right or show your loyalty to Koan with a regular donation!
With my fondest regards
Koan
p.s. After you've made your donation, read some of my fan mail!